This morning I Googled “Virginity” and under news, Lolo Jones was the first topic to come up—and the second, third, fourth, fifth and…you get it. In case you don’t know, the smokin’ hot track and field Olympian has made headlines lately because she is a 29 year old virgin saving herself until marriage.
What’s better than a foxy, fierce, talented athlete? One with a sense of humor—Jones has made jokes about how abstinence is harder than her Olympic training. Since touting her sexless status (on Twitter, no less…her followers jumped by 20,000 almost immediately) Jones has been trending. But it does bring up the idea of chastity, and of saving yourself until marriage.
Jones is religious, and also stated in her recent HBO interview that she thinks her virginity is a gift she should give her husband. While the mere idea of abstinence makes my lady parts extremely pissy, I think saving your virginity for marriage is awesome if that’s what you’re into.
For many people, the first time they had sex is extremely memorable—for better, or for worse. It reminds me of my favorite movie ever, Forrest Gump, when good ol’ Tom Hanks delivers the lines “You know it’s funny what a young man recollects? ‘Cause I don’t remember bein’ born. I don’t recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don’t know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I made sweet sweet love…”
Yeah okay, I made that last bit up. Manipulating things until they serve my purpose is a hobby of mine. Was your first time in the back of your mom’s mini van, which she let you borrow for the night? Or were you snuggled up with your high school or college sweet heart with a buncha candles, cause you’re all romantic like that? Or maybe you were in the laundry room at a house party with your best friend guarding the door like an angry honey badger. HOWEVER you lost your big V card, was it special? Was it memorable? Were you waiting and holding onto it, or were you eager to give it away?
Many people become pretty attached to the first person they sleep with, so I think sharing that moment with your life partner would create an even greater bond. Personally, my first time wasn’t all that great, in experience or emotional attachment—which is sort of a bummer. But I will say that since then, I think about 60 percent of the people I have slept with have been virgins. This would make sense if I racked up most of my numbers in high school, but in all honesty, I didn’t. This goes to show that despite what the media portrays (everyone lose their big V on prom night or face a lifetime of social alienation!) there are a good amount of virgins kickin’ it into young adulthood.
Last week one of my girlfriends told me she has never been with a virgin, and wanted to know how I have been able to stumble upon more than my fair share. Well I think it is because I’m often attracted to shy, slightly awkward men who are really into things like balancing their checkbooks and internalizing all of their feelings until they are a bumbling, anxious mess—which I find endearing. (Aside from shy, sincere “nice” guys, I am also attracted to egotistical, attention whoring douche bags. I’m working on a middle ground.)
Now partner my attraction to shy guys with the fact that I am a bit predatorial when it comes to pursuing, and BAM! I once followed one very shy, nervous fella into a public restroom and slurred something like “hey you. Let’s make out on the sink.” Our tryst was interrupted when someone busted in (past my honey-badger roomie guarding the door…) and said “I’m really sorry, but I gotta puke.” But it didn’t deter me and my guy–we then dated for 3 years and moved in together.
I’m really happy Lolo Jones is setting such a kick-ass example. While I do think expressing your sexuality is important, and I am pro sex before marriage, our media is currently over-sexed. I think it’s nice that someone so talented and driven is also saving sex for marriage, especially because she takes it on with humor and honesty. She doesn’t claim it has been an easy route, or stick her nose up—she just tells it how she sees it, and I’m all for that.
So what about you? How was your first time? What age did you lose your big V? Do you think losing your virginity is over-hyped? Do you think Lolo Jones and Tim Tebow–another foxy virgin athlete–should just get hitched and devirginize each other before running sprints back and forth across their bedroom with lots of “ooh rahs” and chest bumps?
The Lusty Vegan is a lifestyle and sex column focusing on living and loving as a twenty-something year old vegan. More rants from Zoe Eisenberg can be found at www.sexytofu.com. Follow her on Twitter @Sexytofublog