I’m a pretty big fan of irony…except when it comes to my clothes. Sure, I’ll wear a graphic T-shirt with “All blogs post the same stuff” written on it, but I’m less enthusiastic about one of the holidays’ oddly popular traditions—The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. Here’s the thing, I love the idea of an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. What could be better/funnier/more awesome than making priceless memories wearing something totally ridiculous? The only problem is that by wearing something ridiculous… you look totally ridiculous.
Besides your top half looking mildly insane, the rest of your outfit may look totally boring. Even worse, you may end up looking like your mom. (Sorry Mom, I love you and you’re beautiful, but…) Thus, I propose a new twist on this tradition: The Who Looks Best in an Ugly Sweater Contest. There’s a couple ways you can go with this: a) Make it an actual contest with voting, prizes, etc; b) Make it the theme of the party, no competition but still fun; c) Play by yourself and watch everyone turn as green as the trees on their chests.
Personally, I prefer the second option, but here are a few ideas that will create a winning outfit under any circumstance.
1. Loose on top = tight on bottom. If you’ve got it, it’s kind of hard to flaunt it with an oversized fashion disaster taking over half of your body. However, all is not lost. I suggest pairing an ugly sweater with a cute pencil skirt or, for guys, a nice pair of slacks.
2. Don’t settle for jeans. With any other outfit, jeans are a comfortable, easy, yet cute staple. However, when all you have to pair them with is an acrylic menace, you have to get more creative lest you give off the “This was all I had in my closet” vibe.
3. Put your best foot forward. A drool-worthy pair of shoes can easily draw attention away from the hostile takeover of your torso. Like I always say, if you can’t beat them, distract them. (Seriously, this method works extremely well in all areas of life.)
4. Be daring. You’re already wearing something crazy, you might as well go all out. If you’ve ever been afraid to wear something in public, now is the time. Remember, you already look ridiculous so why not look ridiculously fierce? That too shiny skirt, those overzealous pants, those death-defying shoes—they’re all invited to the party.
Holiday parties are all about having fun, so whether you’re dressing for an Ugly Sweater Party or even a normal party, keep this in mind as you scour your closet for ideas. And if you have any ideas for me, feel free to comment and make suggestions!