The Lusty Vegan: Why You Should Put Yourself First This Year

Are you tired of everyone talking about the new year yet? For many, the new year symbolizes some sort of mystical life reset button, like everything will be better when the clock strikes midnight. All your issues will become pumpkins and something about a glass slipper.

I’m talking about resolutions; the catalyst behind the surge in January gym memberships and the lines at Whole Foods which are suddenly comparable to a new iPhone release. People set dietary resolutions, fitness resolutions, career resolutions, and love resolutions. Everybody wants to see self-improvement, and that’s great. For anyone hoping to find love in the new year, step away from Tinder and think about this: the best way to get someone else to love and respect you, is to love and respect yourself.

A solid sense of self directly contributes to the success of your relationships. Why? Your relationships are a reflection of yourself. So what does that reflection look like?

In college, whenever a roommate was bumming (I had 12 of them…) I would force them to do self-love activities with me. No, you perv, not that kind of self-love. I would ask them to tell me why they liked themselves. Specifically, I would start by asking them to list their top 5 favorite internal attributes. Then I would ask them to list off some of their favorite physical traits. I would ask them to tell me things they were good at, and so on.

This is hard to do, you guys! While the number of selfies littering our social media feeds makes vanity seem like a sport, it’s still startling how many of us (me too!) have confidence issues. When you’re unhappy with yourself, you’re likely to depend on your relationships for the happiness that should be coming from within. But when you are content and confident with who you are, your happiness is not dependent on anyone but you, and this takes some pressure off your relationship. Ah, much better.

Of course, this transcends far beyond your romantic relationships, but this is a dating column you know… Your creative ability, your comfort with your sexuality, your professional success, your eating and exercising habits are all anchored by the way you feel about yourself. Confidence is killer. Use that as an excuse to be selfish this year. Search for the things that make you happy. Create your best self. Happy new year.

Want more from Zoe?  Follow her on Twitter and  Instagram, and don’t forget to check out her book, The Lusty Vegan.

About Zoe Eisenberg

Zoe Eisenberg is a writer, editor, and published author.
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One Response to The Lusty Vegan: Why You Should Put Yourself First This Year

  1. We spend so much time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, yearning for that special love. Feeling empty and lost without it. Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect, which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life to share with others. When you expect love from an external source, and someone or something does not fulfill your void and fantasies, then you will feel worse than before. To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others. Understanding the effects of loving yourself will only enhance your ability to love others. By doing so, you are enabling positive energy and allowing for great situations to occur in your life. This guide will help. Never think that you’re living your life for nothing. Everyday, there are people coming in and out of the world, so spend it wisely and respect yourself. Sometimes we feel as if our lives rely on that one person. We think ‘If I do this, he/she will like me.’ We tend to waste time avoiding those certain people, and regret it later. We miss them, yearn for their love, and even waste birthday wishes on them. In order to love someone, you must love yourself.

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